Canned Butter

A Tired Joke

What is the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a nicely dressed man on a bicycle?


A Good Pull

A blind woman once told me I was hung like a horse…


Happy Crimble 2018

christmas 2018 image
christmas 2018 image

Christmas is here again! Christmas carols mark the occasion this year. I’ve strummed and sung more this year than ever before. It reminds of the past when I’d haul my guitar over to Grammy’s trailer and try to coax relatives into singing around the big screen tv. I miss Grammy.

I rewrote a few lyrics this year to save people from singing Jesus, Lord, and Holy shite. My favorite were to the tune of Angels We Have Heard on High:

Come to the Northwest and see

Heaven on earth the angels sing;

Come, adore on bended knee,

Moss beneath the Doug Fir trees.
Glo————— ria, in excelsis Deo!
Glo————— ria, in excelsis Deo!
See Him in a manger laid,

Sheets of cotton, none of hay;

Magic babe and flying deer.

Lights and booze make it not weird.

An Acro-yoga Joke

Acro Yoga image

In what way are poker and acro-yoga rather similar?


A Circus Joke

Pack of Creepy Clown image

What should you do if you are attacked by a pack of clowns?


A Rubber Joke

Tire Condom image

What is the difference between 1 tire and 365 used condoms?


A Joke to Make Your Mother Proud

How are drug-dealers and prostitutes different?


A Camelot Pun

Knights of the Round Table

Which of King Arthur’s Knights of the Roundtable first had the idea to make the table round?


A Political Science Joke

How should we have known that Communism would fail?


A Religiously Fit Joke

El Greco - Christ Carrying the Cross image

How did Jesus get soooo buff?