Canned Butter

Category: joke

A Grateful Dead Joke by Neil Hamburger

Neil Hamburger Portland 2017 image

Comic ‘Legend’ Neil Hamburger rolled through Stumptown last night and I happened to be in attendance at the Star Theatre. Love him or hate him, he’s always got atleast one or two gems that are worth the price of admission.

The one I loved last night was this:

Why were Grateful Dead concerts sooo damn hot?

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A tennis joke:

Tennis Couple image

Why should you never date a tennis player?

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A John Cleese Joke

Folk Singers Lament

How man folk singers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

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A neutral joke:

Switzerland Flag image

What is the greatest part about living in Switzerland?

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A prehistoric joke:

Dinosaur Poster image

Of all the dinosaurs, which one had the best vocabulary?

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A painful joke:

Caravaggio_pain image

What do you call a cheap circumcision?

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An old-lady joke:

old-ladies-drinking-tea image

How do you get 3 old-ladies to yell “Fuuuuck!”?

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A life-saving joke:

Lifeguard Surfer image

Why could the lifeguard NOT save the drowning hippie??

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A good one from back home…

mahatma-gandhi caricature image

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

~ compliments of Mr. Joel P. Geist

A Good Laugh or Cry

If you don’t know Bill Hicks, then allow me to introduce the two of you: