Canned Butter

Category: joke

A tennis joke:

Tennis Couple image

Why should you never date a tennis player?

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A John Cleese Joke

Folk Singers Lament

How man folk singers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

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A neutral joke:

Switzerland Flag image

What is the greatest part about living in Switzerland?

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A prehistoric joke:

Dinosaur Poster image

Of all the dinosaurs, which one had the best vocabulary?

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A painful joke:

Caravaggio_pain image

What do you call a cheap circumcision?

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An old-lady joke:

old-ladies-drinking-tea image

How do you get 3 old-ladies to yell “Fuuuuck!”?

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A life-saving joke:

Lifeguard Surfer image

Why could the lifeguard NOT save the drowning hippie??

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A good one from back home…

mahatma-gandhi caricature image

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

~ compliments of Mr. Joel P. Geist

A Good Laugh or Cry

If you don’t know Bill Hicks, then allow me to introduce the two of you:

Pass the mic

A friend sent along this bit via HTMLgiant.com:
Brooks Sterritt has compiled a list Shakespeare lines mistaken for Hip Hop lyrics. Funny stuff if you’re down. Boring if you’re not. Either way gotta love ol’Bill, way ahead of his time.
“I’ll teach you how to flow.” (The Tempest)

“He speaks plain cannon fire, and smoke and bounce.” (King John)

“I have within my mind / A thousand raw tricks of these bragging Jacks, / Which I will 
practice.” (The Merchant of Venice)

“That’s an ill phrase.” (Hamlet)

“Holla, holla!” (King Lear)
 

“I am the dog: no, the dog is himself, and I am the dog–Oh! the dog is me, and I am myself.” (The Two Gentlemen of Verona)

“You knights of Tyre / Are excellent in making ladies trip.” (Pericles)

“Just as high as my heart.” (As You Like It)

“Thou art raw.” (As You Like It)

“Our tongue is rough, coz, and my condition is not smooth.” (Henry V)

“Ay, on the front.” (Macbeth)

“Holla, you clown!” (As You Like It)

“Our cake’s dough on both sides.” (The Taming of the Shrew)

“Trip no further, pretty sweeting.” (Twelfth Night)

“Look, when I serve him so, he takes it ill.” (The Comedy of Errors)