Canned Butter

A Dad Joke

A dad joke image

How can you tell when a joke is a “dad” joke?


Sleep When You Die #24 – Sydney, Australia

Sleep When You Die #24 image
Sleep When You Die #24 image

Time flies when you’re paying bills, and it’s been a long while since #23 in Granada, Spain. However, hard work has paid off, and I currently find myself down under in Sydney, Australia. What a city! Everyone is pleasant. There’s no litter anywhere. The urban green-spaces are each some sort of Terabithia. And everything I’ve eaten or drank has been top-notch on the ol’ palette. They even have custard creams!!!!! I love it here!

Keeping with my little tradition to forego sleep in lieu of a photo op, I slipped out into the calm AM darkness to hoof it up to the infamous Sydeny Opera House for the spilling of fresh light into a new day. It was so lovely I might do it again tomorrow morning. Sleep when you die, mates.

A Grateful Dead Joke by Neil Hamburger

Neil Hamburger Portland 2017 image

Comic ‘Legend’ Neil Hamburger rolled through Stumptown last night and I happened to be in attendance at the Star Theatre. Love him or hate him, he’s always got atleast one or two gems that are worth the price of admission.

The one I loved last night was this:

Why were Grateful Dead concerts sooo damn hot?


La Femme – Hypsoline film short

Music in a foreign language can be a great thing. Sometimes, atleast for me, words get in the way of a nice piece of art. Whether you speak the language of love or not, this video speaks for itself. What a great little trip. Reminds me of high school. Definitely check out this band if you’ve never been introduced… such good jams.

Use your imagination for good.

Worry is a misuse of your imagination images

A quote that I gave a decorative treatment to recently for a friend. For years I’ve tried to drill this into the brain of my worrisome mother.

Merry Christmas 2016

Merry Christmas calligraphy 2016
Merry Christmas calligraphy 2016

Someone please remind me why we buy a bunch of useless crap for people each year at this time?!?! I wish I could be ignorant sometimes. Like to be oblivious to not only all the previous crap from last year that people will be filling landfills with to make use of this years new crap, but also all the trees that were needed to create the miles of wrapping paper needed to wrap all this crap up in order to present some symbiotic emotional high for gift-giver and receiver.

I did recently come across some interesting information concerning the real reason for the season. Apparently way back during the ancient Egyptian civilization the observers of the sky began to correlate the Winter Solstice with another occasion that has had lasting effects upon our own civilization:

The shortest day of the year each time around is the Winter Solstice. Most of us know this to be true as it is the point in the Earth’s orbit in which the Northern Hemisphere is tilted furthest away from the the life-giving rays of the sun. Now it just so happens that around this time Sirius, the brightest star in the eastern night sky, became perfectly aligned with the three stars that comprise the belt of the constellation Orion. Furthermore, Sirius and these three stars of the belt, historically referred to as the Three Kings, in line all pointed to the location on the eastern horizon to where the sun was born the following morning. This sun was said to be the saviour because in the preceding months up until the Summer Solstice light would shine longer eventually bringing warmer temperatures and the essential growing season. With no other forms of entertainment such as gift unwrapping or football, this occasion was as epic as they came for the ancient civilization. So epic that myths were ingrained into cultures long before any myth of a virign, baby, and three wise men ever began to be told.
Believe or not.

We’re going to have some explaining to do…

The North Pole is Melting image

Think about this: By 2040 ships will be sailing over the North Pole and a timeless tale will sadly need to evolve.

Scientist Peter Wadhams suggests that the summers of 2017 and 2018 will actually see ice-free periods in the artic! Full article here: The Guardian article.

Perhaps by this time in the relatively near future when the North Pole is finally melted away and sea levels have risen, the profit driven powers of the world will recognize the damage that has been done. Ugh. Merry Christmas

Climate Change Has Arrived

Climate Change is Real image

After seeing the Leonardo DiCaprio doc “Before the Flood” I felt compelled to create something to send out across the social media streams. It’s hard to be optimistic about the future the more one goes out and learns about how horrible we as an infectious species treats our beautiful planet. Amazing creatures are being erased because of our stupidity. Sadly, like I always say, tragedy will forever be the greatest catalyst from change. What will the tragedy be that finally drives change though? That’s the scary part. Will humanity allow for the scene from Hieronymous Bosch’s third panel of “The Garden of Earthly Delights” to transpire before people wake up. It is arguable that we’re pretty close as it stands now.

Halloween 2016

Halloween 2016 - Uncle Fester image
Halloween 2016 - Uncle Fester Costume image

It was an Addam’s Family Halloween this year! I was invited to a themed-party and upon hearing there was yet to be an Uncle Fester rsvp, I replied saying I’d give it a go. I’ll tell you this: A bald cap is a tough endeavor. I had no choice but to get a haircut following the party due to the spirit gum sticky-shit that holds the baldness in place. What hell. I’m sure it’ll be easier next time if I ever go for the cue ball look again, but this first time was no joy ride. I wrapped my self in bubble wrap to buld up a bit as well. I’m pleased to report that the party was a a bash and my costume is well received. Until next year… happy haunting.

A Tennis Joke

Tennis Couple image

Why should you never date a tennis player?